Hey Reader,
If you're reading this, you're probably an overdeliverer.
You don't just do the job...
You do the job plus the thing no one asked for but you're convinced will make it better.
- You stay late
- You think three steps ahead
- You bring solutions before people even know there's a problem
I bet your leaders, colleagues, and clients love that you're the reliable one who goes above and beyond.
And on the surface, this looks like excellence. Like you're positioning yourself leadership material.
But underneath, the narrative is:
I need to earn my place here. At every meeting. In every conversation. In every relationship. My presence alone isn't enough.
I didn't realize I was falling victim to this until someone pointed it out to me last month.
A colleague had invited me to her home that weekend. I asked what I could bring.
"Nothing!" she said.
"Well, I can't come empty-handed," I replied automatically.
She looked at me for a beat, then said something that's been rattling around in my head ever since:
"You know, you can come empty-handed. I think you need to practice that."
It was such a simple observation that spoke to a pattern we see in our programs all the time:
You do more than what's asked because somewhere along the way, you learned that enough was never really enough.
Maybe you volunteer to take notes in the meeting even though you're not the junior person anymore.
You answer emails over the weekend because you don't want anyone waiting.
You take on the project no one else wants because if you don't, who will?
You exhaust yourself in the process. What's worse, you create a dynamic where others can underfunction.
So here's my question for you as we head into the holidays:
Where can you give yourself permission to show up empty-handed?
Is there a meeting you can attend without over-preparing?
A task you can delegate instead of rescuing?
A conversation you can have where you just listen instead of immediately offering to fix it?