Hey Reader,

It's a few days before Halloween here in the US, and we need to talk about something truly scary...

😱 How much time and energy we devote to comparing ourselves to others at work.

• Does that senior leader like me better than my colleague?
• What rating did I get on my review compared to everyone else?
• How do my ideas stack up against so-and-so?

As an author and speaker -- someone whose career is largely in front of audiences -- competition is baked into everything I do. How many likes did my post get compared to X? What rating do my books have on Amazon? How fast is the podcast growing?

Don't get me wrong -- my drive and dogged discipline are a big part of why I am where I am today.

But I also know it sometimes tortures me.

I've had to learn this is one of the sneakiest forms of all-or-nothing thinking:

If they win, I lose.

I must be the best, or else I'm a failure.

It took me a long time to realize it's not either/or. It's both/and.

• They can be successful AND there are plenty of clients to go around.
• Their post can go viral AND I can observe and learn from what they did.

The same applies in your world.

• That other director can get recognized at the town hall AND your work can still be valued
• Your colleagues can be tapped for that project AND your promotion timeline doesn't need to match theirs
• You can leave my desk at 6pm AND still be liked without running yourself ragged

It's time to put down the constant scorekeeping.

Let Go of Your Obsession with "Being the Best"

Conventional wisdom says you need to push harder and be more aggressive to succeed at work. But is that true? Ruchika T. Malhotra, author of Uncompete: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success is my guest today. She joins us to share a radically different approach to success – one that doesn't require being obsessed with always being the best.

What You’ll Discover:

▪️ How to handle colleagues who seem to get ahead by stepping over others

▪️ Ways to advance your career without "sharp elbows" or political games

▪️ The invisible beliefs about competition draining your energy at work (and how to break free from them)

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

More ‘Ridiculously Useful’ Resources

3 types of overthinking – and how to overcome them

Speaking of energy drains, overthinking is another sneaky way we sabotage ourselves. Diagnose which type you're dealing with and stop the spiral instead of just white-knuckling through it.

→ Read the article

Resist the "it'll get better when" fallacy

Comparison doesn't *poof* disappear you we get a promotion. Let me take you inside 6 specific, subtle shifts top performers use to cope higher standards and bigger workloads (without crumbling under the pressure).

→ Discover them here

When (and how) to say no to extra work

The next time yet another project is dumped on your plate at the last minute, use the tips in this episode to figure out if you should push back, and exactly how to do it.

​→ Listen here

Book a Talk for Your Team or Organization

Your employees and colleagues need skills to manage up with emotional intelligence through 2026 and beyond.

And let's face it -- influence is one of the few truly "human skills" becoming MORE valuable as AI takes over.

So let's chat about a talk or training for your team, ERG, membership group, or conference that gives them:

• Language to articulate their value and business impact up the chain of command
• Tools to push back diplomatically on unrealistic requests and give feedback to leaders without being confrontational
• Executive presence to communicate in high-stakes moments to get buy-in faster

Reply to this email or reach out about your event here.

See you inside,

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